Toddle Along Tuesday | 2012 Year in Review

Wow, what a year.  And HOLY CRAP, I can't believe it is already almost over!  I honestly feel like I spent most of the year merely surviving while also trying to keep E alive.  I'm not going to lie, 2012 was a year of amazing highs and incredibly difficult lows.

This is what I remember of the past year, for better or worse:

• January 2012:  Still on maternity leave and loving every minute of being a new mother.
• February 2012:  My maternity leave came to an end and I went back to work full-time.  I HATED it and have never been so miserable in a job in my life.  S and I start making serious plans to allow me to quit.
• March-May 2012:  A blur of not sleeping more than 3 hours per night and working full time.  I honestly can barely remember this time period.
• June 2012:  I resigned from my full-time job.  My employer was nice enough to let me resume the part-time position I had left when I accepted the full-time job, and I began working two days per week.  Near the end of June, I also signed on to join two friends in starting a new law firm.
• July 2012:  Things are crazy busy between working part-time at my old office, trying to get things started at the new law office, and enjoying my new-found time with E.  At the same time, things are deteriorating between S and me and we have the worst fight we've ever had.  I'm not sure our marriage is going to survive.  I am diagnosed with vaginismus and begin treatments.
• August 2012:  One of my two friends at our new law firm backs out of our agreement and admits that she had seriously misrepresented some information to the other two of us.  I withdraw from the partnership.
• September 2012:  I make the decision to start my own law firm.  Things still have not improved between me and S.  I begin therapy.  
• October 2012:  S and I are surviving.  I continue therapy.
• November 2012:  We celebrate E's first birthday!  S begins therapy.  Things finally begin improving between S and me. 
• December 2012:  Looking forward to what 2013 will bring! :-)

Life...

Has really gotten in the way of blogging this week!

This past weekend, we spent 12+ hours in the car driving to my hometown, then my college town, for my alma mater's Homecoming.  It was the first time all of my college friends and I had been able to get together in two years, so it was really great to see them again.  It was also the first time most of them got to meet E, which was awesome.  The trip was exhausting, but a blast, and I'm so glad we went.  However, I still don't feel like I've recovered! haha  I've really been dragging all week.

Monday I had to work at my part-time job at the government agency, Tuesday and Wednesday I was home with E, but doing some work for a legal client and trying to reclaim our house from the tornado that apparently went through while we were out of town.  (HA! I wish I could blame a tornado, that would be less embarassing...)

I was also FINALLY able to drop our car off to be repaired from the car accident we were in last month, and in its place we were given the most ridiculous, tiny rental car ever... not so good when I'm 5'8 and S is 6'3!  It is a Ford Fiesta, and is seriously stupid tiny.  I hate it so much and can't wait to get our car back!

Yesterday I worked again at my part-time job, and tried to spend a little time with E and S before falling asleep around 8:00 p.m.

I don't know if it's because E has been teething and not sleeping so well, or because I feel like I might be getting sick, but I have just not been able to keep my eyes open this week.  I get home, eat dinner, turn on the t.v., and I'm out.  I hate it, and I can tell S is getting annoyed too because we haven't had much "together" time this week due to us being busy and me being exhausted.

So, that is where I've been.  I hope things will slow down and that I can return to being a better blogger next week!

A Day in the Life

I had a comment on my law firm post from Jen that she would like to see a post on my day-to-day doings.  So, I thought I would provide a snapshot as to what a day in my life is actually like.  :-)

7:00 a.m. -- Wake up, E is still sleeping.  Spend time with S while he gets ready to leave for school. 

8:00 a.m. -- E wakes up, gets a diaper change, nurses, and we play for awhile while I drink my coffee.  I also move a load of laundry I washed last night from the washer to the dryer.

9:15 a.m. -- E lays down for her morning nap.  I draft a letter to the client I met last week and return his phone call from yesterday afternoon. 

9:45 a.m. -- I take the trash out to the curb and throw dinner in the crock pot. 

10:00 a.m. --  E wakes up from her morning nap waaaay too early, as evidenced by her extreme grouchiness.  Diaper change.  More coffee.  Breakfast.  I put E on the floor to play and sit by her with my laptop.  Alternate between playing with E, looking up ideas for her birthday party on Pintrest, keeping E from electrocuting/strangling herself with my laptop charger cord, and blog-reading. 

12:00 p.m. -- E nurses again and I lay her down for "morning" nap attempt #2. 

12:07 p.m. -- Success! 

12:08 p.m. -- I kick back with "50 Shades of Grey".  [S bought it for me to help with my "rehab".  ;-)]

1:00 p.m. -- S comes home for lunch, and we eat together and hang out before he has to go back to school.

1:45 p.m. -- E wakes up in a much better mood.  Diaper change.  She nurses again, eats some puffs, and we play some more.

3:30 p.m. -- Phone call from my bank regarding a networking opportunity for my new law firm.  Schedule a meeting with them for next Wednesday.

3:40 p.m. -- Decide I'm motivated enough to continue my project I started yesterday - organizing my closet and getting rid of stuff I can't/don't wear anymore.  E plays on the bed with hangers while I sort through all of my junk. 

4:15 p.m. -- E nurses and lays down for her afternoon nap.  I continue organizing and field a phone call from a friend. 

5:00 p.m. -- E poops herself awake from her nap.  Diaper change.  She then "helps" while I continue organizing.

5:45 p.m. -- S gets home, and the three of us eat dinner together.  E eats enough ham and peas to feed a small country.  (We recently discovered she LOVES ham!)  Dinner is followed by clean-up, of the dishes and the baby.  E plays until bedtime.

7:30 p.m. -- E gets a diaper change, nurses for the last time, then lays down for bed with minimal fussing (hallelujah!).  S and I each have a beer while he plays video games and I prepare for my client meeting tomorrow morning.


Whew!  Well, that about sums up a typical day for me.  Of course, some days are busier than others,  and some days E and I just play all day, but I hope that gives you a better idea of my day-to-day life.  :-)

Update on me

So, I have a confession to make.  I've been working on something and not shared about it on this blog.

(I know, I know, I feel like I've been on a "confession" kick lately.  Sorry about that.  Don't worry, this one is is a good thing!)

A few weeks ago, I took the plunge and started my own law firm.

I have always done legal work on my own here and there, even while working various other jobs.  Then, after the implosion of my former law firm, I seriously debated just starting my own firm.  Last month, I finally decided to do it and filed the required paperwork with the state.  Over the last few weeks I have been hammering out all of the details, and I'm finally ready for business.  Its a good thing too, because in the past three weeks, I've already acquired three clients!

As far as E and my life at home goes, not much will be changing.  I am working out of a home office and will still be home with E the majority of the time.  I will also still be working at my part-time job with the government agency two days per week, like I have been doing.  (Yes, they know about my law practice and no, it is not a conflict.) 

So, that is what I have been up to.  In reality, not much will really be changing for me, but I am excited to have finally made a decision and to be taking my practice to the next level.  :-)

Crying over spilled milk

I just realized I forgot to put the milk I pumped for E in the fridge.

The milk I pumped at work... YESTERDAY.

[insert string of expletives here]

It was only 13 ounces, but still.  I work damn hard to still make that much now that she is starting to wean, and I hate pumping so so so much.  There goes all of my hard work -- literally -- down the drain.

*SOB*

I seriously could cry.  Whoever said "there is no use crying over spilled milk" obviously never breastfed.  And they sure as hell never pumped.

Toddle Along Tuesday | Mommy and Me

This is my first Tuesday home with E in quite some time.  I mentioned in my first post that I had been working part-time, then took a leap of faith on a business opportunity that ultimately fell through, and now am officially back at home the majority of the time.

Well, it was just last Tuesday that I drove to to the office for the last time, to tell my business partners I was quitting.  I tend to be a "play it safe" kind of gal anyway, so this whole experience of taking such a risk and failing was especially humbling for me -- as was saving face afterwards, when everyone I know, who was so excited and proud of me when they found out I was joining this partnership, excitedly ask me how things are going, and I have to tell them that it didn't work out.  I suppose if it had to happen, at least it was now and not years from now, when me quitting would have been significantly more complicated.

But I digress.

All of that to say, I am thrilled to now have more "Mommy and Me" time with E.  I had terrible guilt about quitting my old job to work part-time, specifically to have more time with her, and then running off to start this new venture which caused me to spend even less time with her than I had before. 

So now that we have more time together, I keep thinking of more and more fun things I want to do with E before the summer ends:

• play outside more
• take more photos, of her and with her
• have a playdate with our friends
• go to the zoo
• go to the park more
• read more books

That may seem like a silly list, but I just don't want to take any of these moments for granted. I am so thankful to have this time with her.  I had wanted to be a stay-at-home mom from the time I knew I was pregnant, but unfortunately we just couldn't make it work.  I know lots of families use daycare/babysitters and love it, but it just killed me to leave her all day, every day, and really only get quality time with her on the weekends.

Of course, we still have the kind of bond that only a mother and baby can have -- I am the one she wants when she is tired, sick, or hurt -- but I hated that for 10-12 hours per day, someone else was filling that role for her.  I love being able to just BE with her, and to watch her learn and grow and experience new things.  I love watching her little personality develop, and to observe the little person she is becoming!

And with that, I'm going to walk away from the computer, and go spend some quality time with my sweet girl.  :-)  Happy Tuesday!

A Brief History of... Me

From a young age, I always knew I wanted to be an attorney.  I worked hard in high school, then college, so I could get into my #1 choice law school.  I worked in law firms and interned with judges.  I succeeded at getting accepted to my #1 choice law school.  I moved to my new city to start school and soon met my now-husband, S.  We were married two years later.  I graduated law school but couldn't find a job.  S started medical school.  I found a job. We bought a house.

Life was good.

Then we decided to have a baby. 

After nearly two years, one miscarriage, and three very early pregnancy losses, we finally welcomed our daughter E in 2011.   With her arrival, my priorities did a complete 180.  No longer did I want to go to work every day, I only wanted to be with her.  At the time, I was working at a government agency with little hope for advancement, high potential for burnout, and not much of a paycheck.  I could not stand the thought of leaving E with a stranger every day, just so I could go off to this meaningless job.

After a few months of financial finagling, S agreed we could afford for me to quit my full-time job to work part-time and spend more time with E.  I was thrilled!  At the same time, I was approached by an acquaintance from law school about starting a law practice with her.  I thought this was finally my chance to "have it all" -- to be my own boss, work from home, and be able to have as much time with E as I wanted.  Unfortunately, for reasons I won't get into here, the partnership didn't work out, and I ended up quitting several months in.

Back to square one.

Now, I'm back to working two days per week at the same government agency, and spending the rest of my days with E and practicing law from home.  It was a long road to get here, but I can finally say that I truly have the best of both worlds, and that there is no where else I'd rather be.

Welcome to my blog.