The Sleep Plan

Houston, we have a plan.

We have decided to try a slightly modified version of the sleep plan Nicole at The Kavanaugh Report posted awhile back.  She got the plan from a behavioral therapist when they were having trouble with her son, Henry's, sleep.  It sounds like Henry and E have a lot in common in the stubborn personality and sleep departments, so I am hoping we will have some measure of success with this plan.

We have two things we would like to ultimately accomplish with this plan:  1) cut back on E's night feedings and 2) get E to fall asleep on her own, in her Pack-N-Play, and get her to stay there all night.

Our official sleep plan looks like this: 

• Strict wake-up time of 8:00 every morning.  E can get up earlier than this if she is ready, but we will not let her sleep any later than 8:00 a.m.
• First nap 2.5 hours after she wakes up. 
• Nurse her before her nap.  Then, put her down for her nap awake and do not return for 60 minutes.  If she is still awake after 60 minutes, the "nap" is over, and we try again at her next scheduled nap time.
• Repeat same routine for her afternoon nap at 2:00 p.m.
• Regular bedtime routine and have her in bed by 8:00 p.m.  I will nurse her before bedtime, but we will put her down awake.  At night, we can go in to reassure her/soothe her as often as needed, but we cannot pick her up until 60 minutes pass.  After 60 minutes, we can pick her up and rock her, etc., but must put her back down awake.  
• Only allowing her to nurse twice per night.  Since she is used to nursing all night long, I hate to just cut her off cold-turkey, so we decided to cut her back gradually.  For the first week, I will let her nurse once after midnight and once after 4:00 a.m.  Next week (assuming she is still waking multiple times...) she will only be allowed to nurse once, and only after 2:00 a.m.  Each time she nurses, she must be put back down awake. 
• NO SLEEPING IN OUR BED NO MATTER WHAT.

In addition to what I outlined above, we will also be making a real effort to ensure E eats plenty of solid foods during the day, so that she won't be hungry/trying to make up calories by nursing during the night.  

I'm not expecting miracles with this plan, but I am hoping to at least improve on what we've got going on right now... which, as you all know, is pretty dismal.  If she will just go to sleep on her own, and only wake a few times and eventually be able to get herself back to sleep when that happens, I will consider this a great success!  Anything beyond that would be a fantastic bonus.


So, all of that said... We decided to implement this plan yesterday.  S and I are both off from work on Monday, which will give us some extra time to be tired with minimal consequences.  It will also give me until Friday to be home with E before she goes back to the babysitter, so we will have almost a full week to hopefully get into some kind of groove.

Day one of The Plan went almost exactly as I thought it would.  I rocked her to sleep for her first nap, so that we weren't starting out with her already extremely overtired.  For her second nap, we put her down at 2:15 p.m. We let her cry for 60 minutes, then went in to reassure her every 30 minutes after that.  She was awake and crying until 5:15 p.m., when I went in and patted her chest until she fell asleep.*  She slept 30 minutes.

Bedtime last night wasn't any better.  I nursed her and we put her to bed at 8:00 p.m.  She cried and fussed until 11:45 p.m. (with us checking on her periodically), when S went to check on her, and found her sleeping standing up in her Pack-N-Play.  He tried to lay her down, and she woke up, so I nursed her and patted her chest again until she fell asleep.  She was then awake at 2:00 a.m., 4:30 a.m. (nursed), and 6:30 a.m.  I am proud to say we were able to get her back to sleep in the Pack-N-Play at 2:00 and 4:30, which I consider a small victory in itself.   I tried to soothe her back to sleep for about 45 minutes once she woke up at 6:30, then gave up and decided to just get up for the day. 

She is now fussing through her 60 minutes of morning nap time.  I'm really, really hoping today goes better for us!  I know it will likely take at least 3-4 days to see any real improvement, so I'm not holding my breath.

Wish us luck!


*After hearing her scream for three hours at that nap attempt, I emailed Nicole to find out what they did after Henry failed to fall asleep after 60 minutes.  I had assumed E had to stay back there, so she didn't think she had "won" by fighting sleep for an hour, but Nicole told me that after 60 minutes they considered the nap to be over, so we modified our plan accordingly.  It sounds much more manageable to me than listening to E CIO for three hours every time she has to take a nap!

re: HELP

Thank you all for the thoughtful comments on my last post.  I meant to respond last night, but was so exhausted by the time I made it home that I crashed.  We all did, actually.  I woke up at midnight having been asleep in the recliner in the living room with E on my chest and S passed out on the couch.

Since she wasn't sleeping anyway, S and I decided to do whatever it took to get her to sleep last night so we could all start over refreshed.  S and I are currently working on a plan and then we are going to do it.  Whatever "it" ends up being.  I will keep you posted.

Also, sorry for the horrible formatting on my last post.  I wrote that from my phone and it looked fine from there, but when I finally read it on my computer all I saw was a jumbled mess.  It should be fixed now.

Thanks again for your support and suggestions on this.  I believe I have replied to everyone's comments on my last post.  If you have anything else to add, I would love to hear it!

Thanks again!

HELP

After the past few weeks, I am convinced we desperately need help with E's sleep.  I am at my wits end.

Before she got sick, she was starting to fight going back to sleep when she wakes in the middle of the night, but I could usually snuggle her or nurse her back to sleep.  Then when she was sick, she got completely out of her routine, and now she WILL NOT go back to sleep at night. She violently thrashes around, screams "NO NO NO NO!", kicks, hits, slaps, and claws us (even when just laying next to her on our bed).  Last night, she flung herself out of our bed and hit her head on the nightstand, leaving a gash on her forehead.  It is no longer safe for her to sleep in our bed.   Something has to change.

This is where we are at:

E still sleeps in our room.  We don't want to change this yet, unless absolutely necessary.

We put her down for the night drowsy but awake into her Pack N Play next to our bed.  Sometimes she goes down without a fight, other times it takes one hour or longer.  I bring her into our bed when she wakes during the night.

She will NOT go to sleep on her own if we leave the room.  We have let her CIO for 2+ hours before, with no success.  She only gets more angry and upset.  At bedtime, we usually sit next to her PNP and pat her as needed.

E sleeps at least 10 (interrupted) hours per night.

When home with me, she takes two naps per day, usually totaling 2-3 hours of nap in all.  She goes down for her naps consistently between 10:00-11:00 and 1:30-2:30.

On days when she goes to the babysitter, she has no consistent nap schedule.  Since she will not go to sleep on her own, she is at the mercy of when the babysitters kids nap so the babysitter can get her down.  I assume this is part of the problem, but don't know how to change it.

E has been nursing a lot at night.  I also suspect this is part of the problem, but am hesitant to stop cold turkey because she doesn't always eat much during the day.  I want to make sure she gets enough nutrition.

We have tried every sleep training method, even Ferber and straight CIO, with no success.  (And yes we have been consistent and tried each method for long enough we should have seen an improvement.)  We have had the most luck with The Sleep Lady's methods, but they only work for bedtime and not E's many night wakings.

We cannot spend all night fighting with E about sleep.  S is in medical school doing his rotations and frequently has 12-15 hour days.  He cannot afford to miss what little sleep he gets.

Our house is small enough, we can hear her screaming from any other room, even if we did try to just leave her somewhere else and let her CIO all night.

I think that is all relevent information. PLEASE HELP.  I am about to have a mental breakdown.

Lactose Intolerance

Last week at E's one-year appointment, her doctor confirmed what S and I have suspected for a few weeks now -- that our little lady is lactose-intolerant.  I'll spare you the disgusting mucousy poopy diapers details, but suffice it to say she has every textbook symptom each time she consumes dairy.
 
We first noticed when she had yogurt the week before her birthday.  She was really fussy and gassy and had a terrible diaper afterwards.  We already thought she might have issues with dairy, because she also could not tolerate lactose as a newborn (I had to cut all dairy from my diet until she "outgrew" it around 4-5 months old), but we wanted to test her a few more times to be sure it wasn't a fluke.  She then had homemade buttercream frosting (pure butter + sugar) twice the week of her birthday, and cottage cheese a few times after that, and was fussy and had all of the other symptoms every single time.  So far, it seems only straight dairy upsets her stomach; dairy ingredients baked into something else (i.e. in cake or bread) don't seem to bother her too much, thankfully.  Her doctor suggested starting her on soy milk instead of whole cow's milk (we hadn't tried cow's milk yet, for this reason), and then every few weeks offer her a small amount of dairy to see if she develops a tolerance for it.  If not, she will be officially tested at 18 months, and we can go from there. 

I am happy to report that so far, she seems to be doing great on the soy milk.  We started her on it last week, and so far she seems to really like it and has drank (drunk?) it without complaint.  However, I feel like I am kind of hitting a wall in choosing foods to give to her, especially for breakfast.  I try to make sure she gets multiple servings of fruit/vegetables, a protein, and a grain every day (and at least two of the three at each meal), but I am stumped as to what to feed her in the morning.  She can't eat oatmeal (it makes her vomit), and obviously can't have yogurt.  So far I've just been giving her dry cereal, fruit, or eggs, which I'm sure is going to get boring quick.

Any suggestions for lactose-free breakfast ideas?

Some Baby That I Used to Know...

(Apologies to Gotye.)

I'm not sure what happened to our sweet, chill, easy-going baby.  But she seems to have been body-snatched and replaced by an angsty, frustrated, tantrum-throwing pre-toddler.

These past three days have been some of the most difficult days I've had with E in a long time.  She has been SO frustrated and throwing temper tantrums over every little thing.  Her mood fluctuates wildly from perfectly calm and happy to full-blown temper tantrum several times per hour.  She starts and stops tantrums so quickly that sometimes I cannot even determine what it was that set her off.  And heaven forbid if she gets into something she shouldn't have and I take it away... complete meltdown. 

She is also refusing to nap, screaming and fighting going to sleep for an hour or more before I finally give up and just let her stay awake.  Of the few times she has finally fussed herself to sleep these past few days, she wakes up only 20-30 minutes later.  (She took two 20-minute naps yesterday.  That is only 40 minutes of napping.  For the WHOLE DAY.  She was awake practically 13 hours!)

Bed time hasn't been any better.  After weeks of going to sleep on her own, without fuss, she is now back to fighting it for an hour or more.  Last night, she cried on and off for an entire hour before finally falling asleep.  I tried everything -- leaving her to CIO (only makes her angrier!), laying with her (she hit me and pushed me away), nursing her (more hitting and pushing), and rocking her (physically fighting and kicking, trying to wrestle herself free).  Nothing worked...  Until she finally realized that she WAS actually hungry, nursed for a few minutes, and then passed out for three hours.

Oh, and she has also been refusing to nurse during the day as well.  So on top of being exhausted, she is also likely starving.  She is teething something awful (working on four new teeth!), and on the cusp of several big milestones (crawling, cruising, standing, walking), which I'm sure is also part of the problem.  Those things combined make her such a frustrated, clingy, grouchy mess that she will hardly let me put her down... lest she have another tantrum.

I'm really just rambling.  It is frustrating to deal with, but mostly I just feel sad and helpless.  I hate watching her being so frustrated and having such a hard time, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to make it better, other than just ride it out. 

Did anyone else go through this with an almost-one-year-old?  Any suggestions?  How long did it last?  Is there anything else I can do to make this time easier for E (and S and me)?

Its getting hot in here...

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed that I am having crazy hot flashes.  I am generally cold-natured and am usually the last one to ever complain about the temperature in a room being too warm, but holy crap, it is like something switches within me and I am instantly sweating and burning up! 

Like right now -- which prompted this post -- I am sitting in my living room in very lightweight pants and a nursing tank and am BURNING ALIVE.  It is 75 degrees in my house, which would generally have me in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  But not today.  ACK! 

I am wondering if maybe with E starting to wean, if my hormones are starting to return to "normal", and that is the cause of these hot flashes?  I still haven't had a postpartum period, and wonder too if perhaps that is also coming 'round the bend.  (I sure hope not, I've really enjoyed not having AF for nearly two years now!)  Either way, these hot flashes are crazy and unlike anything I've ever experienced, even while pregnant.

Has this happened to anyone else during weaning/the return of AF?

Boobie Trap Bingo

I've been reflecting on me and E's breastfeeding relationship a lot lately, as I am starting to think about how and when she will wean.  She has a mouth full of chompers now, and has been increasingly interested in eating more solid foods, so I'm sure the time will come before I know it.  Add to that the fact that yesterday I was diagnosed with mastitis and my right boob is currently SO painful I can barely stand to feed her, and the issue of weaning is definitely fresh on my mind.

I always imagined I would breastfeed E for a year, and then follow her cues as to how long to continue after that.  I like the idea of baby-led weaning and definitely don't want to cut her off before she is ready, but at the same time I am starting to look forward to the day when I can have my boobs back to myself (S is too... haha!).  So, I kind of feel like the end is in sight.  I thought I might be more sentimental about losing that bonding time with her -- and maybe down the road, once I've had some distance, I will be -- but right now, I feel at peace with weaning her whenever she is ready.

Anyway, all of that has been on my mind lately.  Then I stumbled upon this post at The Alpha Parent, another blog I read, about all of the potential difficulties you must overcome while breastfeeding, and I decided to play her game of "Boobie Trap Bingo".

Here is my completed bingo card (click to enlarge):

No "bingo!" for me, but I have to say that I have been extremely fortunate to face as few of these challenges as I have.  I have had to pump at work for seven months now, but several of my coworkers had pumped before me, and my employer and other coworkers never batted an eye at my need to relieve myself.  E had some weight gain issues in the beginning, and we did have to supplement with formula for a few weeks, but I am lucky that we were able to increase my supply and get her back to exclusively breastfeeding for as long as we have.

I am also extremely thankful that I have had such supportive friends and family, many who breastfed/are breastfeeding their children and who have been a great resource for me.   And of course I am fortunate to have a supportive partner.  S has been my biggest breastfeeding-cheerleader all along, and never encouraged me to quit and switch to formula, even during the most difficult times.  S was by my side reminding me what a great thing I was doing, and literally cheering me on -- "you can do it! you are doing great! hang in there!" -- when I was sobbing in pain while feeding E during our 13-week-long battle with thrush.  He has also not complained once that he has been effectively cut off from "the girls" while I've been nursing E; it is just too uncomfortable and weird for me to think of them as anything but a food source right now.  I know that not everyone has such a wonderful support system. 

Whew!  Well, that was probably more than you ever wanted or needed to know about my breastfeeding adventures.  LOL

If any of you decide you'd like to play Boobie Trap Bingo as well, click on over to The Alpha Parent and complete and post your bingo card too.  I'd love to see them!  :-)

Crying over spilled milk

I just realized I forgot to put the milk I pumped for E in the fridge.

The milk I pumped at work... YESTERDAY.

[insert string of expletives here]

It was only 13 ounces, but still.  I work damn hard to still make that much now that she is starting to wean, and I hate pumping so so so much.  There goes all of my hard work -- literally -- down the drain.

*SOB*

I seriously could cry.  Whoever said "there is no use crying over spilled milk" obviously never breastfed.  And they sure as hell never pumped.

Nursing and weaning and TEETH, oh my!

E is nine months old now, and in just the past few weeks has gone from two teeth to SIX!  She now has two on the top and four on the bottom, and all are equally razor-sharp.  She is also still nursing 4-6 times per day and 1-3 times per night.  (You can probably guess where this is going...) 

In the past two days, I have been bitten at least 5 times.  OUCH.  Every time she does it I immediately remove her and say "NO BITING!" and set her on the floor across the room from me.  Once or twice she cried, the other times she didn't seem to care.  This is the advice I have been told and seen given repeatedly online to stop the biting, but I can't help but wonder if it is really effective if she doesn't get upset?  I would love to hear any other ideas if anyone has them!

I also have noticed that when she is nursing, I can definitely feel her top teeth digging into my skin.  A few times I have even seen clear teeth marks where they were after she finished eating.  It doesn't hurt as much as the biting, but is still pretty uncomfortable.  I also really worry about this getting worse as her teeth continue to grow in, but am not sure there is much I can do other than tough it out.  

My goal for E has always been to nurse for at least a year, but follow her lead when it comes time to wean.  (However, the recent teeth situation is definitely giving me pause...) I guess you could say we've been doing "modified baby-led weaning" since she started trying solids, and it seems to be working for us.  In just the past week or so, E has really started refusing to nurse, instead wanting to eat more and more "real" food.  She will still take milk from a bottle or sippy cup, but will flat out refuse it straight from the tap.  I try to make sure she takes milk first and solids second, so that I can be sure she is still getting enough nutrition, but she just doesn't seem interested in the milk.  She will not eat anything pureed -- she will only eat small pieces of actual food -- so I can't even sneak any milk in that way.  I'm not sure if this is just a phase, or if my baby really is weaning herself already. 

*tear*  They grow up so fast!