Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Warning: Rant Ahead

SERIOUSLY, what is the deal with everyone wanting to feed other people's babies?

Maybe this is just a problem we have, but it seems like every time we share food with anyone, they want to feed E things from their plates.  Sometimes without asking.  When she was six months old, my father-in-law tried to give her root beer.  ROOT BEER.  Another time, I had to fish oranges out of her mouth when another relative gave them to her, without my permission and while I was in the restaurant restroom, before E had been exposed to citrus.  Even last week at church, the lady who holds E while I sing in praise band (and who knows of her dairy allergy) tried to give her a butter-soaked biscuit before church.

And maybe I am just being an irrational bee-otch about the whole thing, but this irritates the HELL out of me.  It annoyed me before we knew E had food allergies, and now it really pisses me off... especially because the offenders are almost always people who KNOW she is allergic to dairy and to whom we have repeatedly explained that we have to be hyper-vigilant about what we feed her because dairy is in everything.  It also makes me super paranoid that if I look away for a second, someone will sneak her food that she shouldn't have and she will be sick for days, all because someone thought they knew better than S and me.  

This rant has been bubbling under the surface for awhile now, but was prompted by dinner last night with my in-laws.  Once again, we spent the entire first half of our meal fending off their attempts to feed E random things (chocolate chip cookies, bacon off of FIL's cheeseburger, breaded chicken strips...) and repeatedly explaining that no, she can't have that, it has dairy in it, while they continued to push the issue and with S's mom shooting increasingly less-subtle dirty looks to FIL from across the table.*  Good times!

I seriously don't know why my in-laws (and everyone else) have such an issue with this.  Does E look like she is starving and needs you to feed her?  She has ranked in at least the 90th percentile for weight pretty much her entire life, so I hardly think that is the reason.  Do they think we are just crazy over-protective parents?  (Probably.)  That we are abusing E by denying her chocolate/butter/etc.?  Or that we are doing this just for fun-sies?  I really don't get it.  Even before having E, I would never offer a child food without asking their parent's permission first.

And I'm sure everyone means well, but SERIOUSLY!  Lay off the baby, she is not starving.

* side note:  MIL hates me and frequently shoots FIL dirty looks any time she disapproves of things I do and say.  Oh, and she hasn't spoken to me since before E's birthday party in November.  But that is another story for another post...


  1. Oh lord do I know how you feel. Everyone thinks because they are parents, they know the ::right:: thing to do, and "A little bit won't hurt them."

    Ahem... yea it will.

    Sure, will E enjoy a chocolate chip ridden, butter slathered treat at the time, sure. What kid wouldn't. But, she and her little body will pay for it when the diary makes her sick. Your MIL can kick rocks. The bottom line is, you are E's mom and what you say goes. PERIOD.

    I am also extremely picky about what Sully eats and people try to feed him all the time. He doesnt eat a ton of processed food, and people try and give him breaded things, and deep fried things, and it drives me bonkers! Your MIL needs calm down. And obviously your hubby needs to step up and say, "Hey mom, she is ALLERGIC to dairy. If you give her that cookie, she will get sick. Do you want that?!"

    Hang in there! You are an awesome Mama!

    1. I am so glad I am not alone in this! I get so angry, and then think maybe I am just being an irrational crazy person.

      And S is awesome, he does run most of the interference on his parents. But we could (and have) explained this to them until we are blue in the face, and they still won't let it go. I really think they don't believe us/think I am just a crazy control freak who won't let them have any fun.

      You hang in there too! I am hoping that once our little ones aren't so little any more, this won't be such an issue!

  2. Grrrr!!! I hate when people feed other people's kids without asking. Some freaking idiot fed Samson a peanutbutter cookie when he was 7 months old, PEANUTBUTTER. What if he was allergic? He could've died, it still makes me sick to think about.

    I hope people get their shit together and stop feeding E!

    1. WHAT! I would have been so furious, holy crap. Who gives a child they don't know peanut butter?! What an idiot! I'm so glad Samson was ok!

  3. I'd be pissed too! Who does that? I've never offered food to a kid without asking mom or dad first...and honestly, I'm just not one to share my food with someone else's kid anyway, unless they looked like they really wanted it.

    Keep standing your ground! You're doing great!

  4. Ha ha. The really segment on snl is one of me & b's favorites and we do it all the time!! We have this problem too with play group and other moms whipping out snacks. They are nice enough to share but I'm sorry I don't want him drinking juice or eating goldfish crackers yet!!

  5. I have the same problem with my MIL! They just don't get it! Grrr! You have every right to be upset and annoyed! I always tell DH that Max is MY son and if in-laws have any problems with the decisions I make they just need to deal with it because they had their chance with him (dh). I don't get why people feel the need to not pay attention to the parents wishes and totally do their own thing.