I am feeling very blah today.
I feel like I've spent the entire week this week trying to get on top of the housework, and failing miserably. I am so far behind on laundry that it isn't even funny. Our entire couch in our living room is covered in (clean) clothes that I don't even know what to do with, because our dressers and closets are overflowing. I was able to go through one closet and our guest room and got rid of a ton of clothes I don't/can't wear anymore and some other random junk that was just taking up space. But now I feel stuck and overwhelmed and just don't know what to tackle next.
I also need to clean our bathrooms LIKE WOW. Especially the master bathroom... I'm pretty sure it hasn't had a deep cleaning since my cleaning spree right before E was born. Yikes. We primarily use the guest bathroom and keep it pretty clean, but it could use a once-over also.
At least the kitchen is clean. Although, I really need to organize the pantry and rearrange our shelves because E is starting to get into them.
I really thought I would have more time to tackle these types of things now that I'm home most of the time. How is it possible to spend so much time on housework, and have nothing to show for it?
Sigh.
I also had another therapy appointment today. I felt like the past appointments and the last few weeks have gone well, but the last day or so I feel like I've hit a wall (no pun intended) with my vaginismus and am just really frustrated that the recovery process is taking so long. Today my therapist reminded me that it took me a long time to get here, and that I need to be patient with myself, but I can't help it. I just want to be better, and for my relationship with S to finally be back to normal.
Blah. Sorry to be a bummer. These things are just really weighing on me today.
:( Hang in there - it will get better! Vaginismus is more common than you think and PT is definitely an important part of getting better. I tell my patients with the diagnosis that they are not even allowed to think about sex during the initial treatment phase, mostly in a way to release them from the pressures of thinking they need to perform while still working things out. It is not an overnight switch, so don't put that pressure on yourself! And laundry and homemaking....yeah I hear you. I will say paying someone for a one-time deep clean to get you back on track is sometimes worth it's weight in gold. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have to start and stop so much that things are always getting done but are never finished :/
ReplyDeleteI could have written this myself. I feel like trying to clean my house while my kids are awake is like brushing my teeth while eating Oreos. It just goes nowhere!
ReplyDeleteBeing a mom, regardless of working or staying at home, can kick your teeth in and make you give up on a y form of housework. You've either got your hands full until nap time and then if you're like me, you'd rather sit back and get an actual meal instead of a bite here and there or just relax in thr quiet!
ReplyDeleteAnd sex? Even without the dx, it's hard to come by in our household as well but I am glad you're getting help and "working" on it.